I have been taking a course for the last 3 weeks and we have been working on finding our why, telling our story and getting deep. So read on!
way back when
9 years ago, I found myself in the middle of a divorce. This is not what I had envisioned for my life. Everything I had was coming to an abrupt stop, the world I had created was crumbling around me. That late night phone call ripped open my heart and created a wound so deep that nothing would be able to heal it but time. Each night I would curl up in my now empty bed and put so many pillows around me so I felt like someone was next to me. This whole process felt like salt being poured in my wound. Then the tears would come in torrents and hard waves. My body would shake and I would muffle my sobs with the surrounding pillows so my kids wouldn’t hear.
In 2002 I became pregnant with my oldest after 6 months of marriage. We were an Army family and decided it was important for me to stay home to give our children stability. We were moving 3 months after becoming pregnant to our first duty stationed. This assignments was short, only 6 months, so it made sense for me to stay home and not work during that time. For the next 7 years I found myself raising my children and supporting my husband in his career. Getting divorced meant that I had to go back to work to support my little family of 3.
My dilemma was, I don’t have a degree of any sort. I felt very unmarketable. When I started my job search I felt defeated because I knew I was going to be working for minimum wage at McDonald’s, a job that was not the right fit for me in my late 20s. I also knew I was going to do whatever it took to cover the $3126 in monthly expenses for the 3 of us. That was covering the bare minimums of a roof over our heads, food on the table and a car to get to work. I did not qualify for government assistance, my child support had not been calculated, yet we were living paycheck to paycheck.